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Have you ever felt like u could feel the sadness of the others?
Have you ever felt like u were like about to cry while seeing others crying?
Did you ever feel like crying just at the thought of seeing how emo others are?
Have you ever felt even worst at seeing that you were of no help?
Did you ever felt like your whole world is becoming damn emo?
Have u ever asked yourself why life is so unfair?
And did you ever felt like you wanna help but didn't know how to manage it?
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Did you ever feel like some people they only find you when needed?
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And did you felt so blur and don't know what to do about all this and which decision to take so that you don't regret it after?
Have you ever felt like you've done too much and now at the moment it's only that you really can feel it?
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Coz that's how i'm feeling right now !
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Tomorrow will be another day, i do hope the world will change someday...

The last 3 days !

- Awesome bday surprise
- Awesome after party at republic
- Awesome rasberry vodka
- Slept a total of 21HRS during the weekend
- Didn't eat for 29HRS from saturday to sunday
- Managed to read only my fm lecture notes
- We skype finally after delaying it for abt 7 months!
- Had a desert after so long
- Fuck Man Utd
- Finally made a new post after one month of silence
- Didn't sleep from sunday to monday

Strange Dreams...An inception?

Yesterday i dreamt of that girl who met 1yr ago but who i'm not really close and whom i was kissing sensually.

Today in the morning, yeah i went to sleep at 5am..i had the strangest dreams i think i ever made. May be i travelled to some other life i have in another vortex or dimension as they call it. Or is it my subconscious that is playing tricks with me. Yeah going back to the dream, my sister was no more my sister !!!! It was back in 1998 i think because i don't remember of being that tall in the point of view of looking at my father who seem taller than me. Yeah my mum gave birth to a boy, who was to be my lil brother. I remember i was carying him (her) and we were running away from something, my dad leading the escape, showing us the way. It was a dark alley. Deep in my mind i can also remember that i was feeling confused because my memory of my lil brother was in fact that he should be a girl and NOT a boy. This was burning in my mind. The lil baby was so fragile but i felt it was damn heavy after sometimes and had to stop to change its grip afta sometimes. His face was kinda the same as my sister but there was something NOT girly anymore with him , and immediately know it was not a girl but a boy...So we were like running away with me still confuse.
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Not finished, we can say that it was 2 in 1 dream! Next in the same night and same sleep, i landed in a dark home, quite in a bad condition. By the time i'm writing this, i really hope i'm really awake and in the real world !



Otherwise i'll need a kick and i don't dare jumping from the 3rd level of monash lol.


I think may be i reached level 2 of my dreams :D
Yeah coming back to that second dream, yeah this time i don't have full memory of what happened. I just remember i was feeling damn tipsy and this was not because of alcohol really, i could barely see and my body was like paralysed i could not move easily, i think someone drug me in this dream. That night while walking to the the kitchen at night, i saw a strange figure of a bold head guy and which look threatening, but i do thing was a ghost or else i was drugged and had halucinations. So i ran with all my efforts and punched it with all my body weight and all my power. Guess what? I went completely through the figure and collided and i fell down. When i pull up my head it was gone.
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Next what i remember was that my alarm clock started ringing and it was already 11.15am meaning i already missed nicole's tutorial. I just hope i'm not only at level 1 of my dream. LOL.

Random Post

1. Put your iTunes (or Mp3 player) on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!



If someone says, “Is this okay?” You say
ALL NIGHT LONG - ALEXANDRA BURKE FEAT PITBULL

How would you describe yourself?
TIL WE AIN'T STRANGERS ANYMORE - BON JOVI

What do you like in a guy/girl?
YEAR 0 - 30 SECONDS TO MARCH


How do you feel today?
YOU'RE NOT SORRY - TAYLOR SWIFT

What is your life’s purpose?
WATCHA SAY - JASON DERULO

What is your motto ?
GIVES YOU HELL - ALL AMERICAN REJECTS

What do your friends think of you?
THE INCREDIBLE - UNKNOWN ARTIST

What do you think of your parents?
SHUT UP - SIMPLE PLAN

What do you think about often?
SAVIOR - 30 SECONDS TO MARCH

What do you think of your best friend?
NO PROMISES - SHAYNE WARD

What is 2 + 2?
DEAD AND GONE - T.I FEAT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

What do you think of the person you like?
21 GUNS - GREEN DAY

What do you want to be when you grow up?
CRY FOR YOU - SEPTEMBER

What do you think of when you see the person you like?
FORGIVE ME - LEONA LEWIS

What will you dance to at your wedding?
JUST THE GIRL - THE CLICK FIVE

What will they play at your funeral?
ALL THESE THINGS I HATE - BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE

What is your hobby/interest?
OTHERSIDE REMIX - UNKNOWN ARTIST

What is your biggest secret?
EVACUATE THE DANCEFLOOR - CASCADA

What do you think of your friends?
BREAK YOUR HEART - TAIO CRUZ

What will you put as the title?
THE WAY I DO - MARCOS HERNANDEZ

Memo to myself...

> I promise not to have a hair cut till i pass all the 4 units i'm taking for this semester.

My part of responsibility for my failure

Fuck mann, why didn't i study correctly for my 1st sem ??? All blame on me for this >.<
Yeah i failed the management which i'm sure if i at least read the book i could attain at least a PASS !!! Dumbfuck me larrr . I feel already soo stupid >.<
Now with two units behind, my parents to say don't really have great faith in me. They don't even want to send me to OZ to say it accurately coz the reasons are:

(1) The cost of accomodation is too expensive compared to Malaysia.
(2) Can I handle working and studying at the same time coz i already failed 2 units without even working!!! Dumb fuck using that against me makes me feel so down and stupid really.
(3) There is also my bro who has to study and this i can understand really. It would ve damn selfish to ask them to devote all resources on me. and my bro already made a lot of sacrifices by always remaining in my shadows.
(4)They think i'll party rather than studying there also.
(5)That one i feel soo stupid about it! i was in love with malaysia at that time and told them that i wanted to complete my whole course there. Sooo stupid from me larrr really.

And from the last text i received it seems like my chances are currently absolutely nil >.<

Soo my new resolutions for this sem :

(1) Regain the respect and faith of my parents by passing all my units + the summer course one.
(2) Achieve my first HD and get at least D for the other units.
(3) Become a nerd and go back home after uni. At least for this sem and see how they respond to that.
(4) Show them that i've grown up now and i can assume my responsibilities.


GOD for the rare moments i talk to you, please help me REALLY this time! I promise to be a really good boy if you help me achieve my objectives! I'm really NOT joking of fooling around!!! That's REAL this time !!!!


And its starts as from now as from 10PM !!!!

" 3 HRS 40 mins left before launching the NERDY mode "

Fuck You Monash Student Recruit Department :@

What's the use of Monash having a student recruit department if they can't even give use information that u really need ? >.<

So today on 26 July 2010, i was like going to the Student Recruit Department and asked the guy :" Yeah if i wanna transfer to one of the campuses in Australia, will it be possible to for me transfer for my final year? "

The guy:" Yeah it's possible and i think there will be no problem."

Feeling relieved that i'll be liable of a transfer nothing mattered. And then, i went to see Shaheen and Rebc. " Heyy dude you were totally wrong larrr. The guy told me can larrr!!!!"

Then we started arguing on the matter as the old man read it somewhere that if you already completed 2/3 of your courses in one campus, you are bound by the Fucking retarded Monash policy to remain in your current campus >.<

Sooo we spent like i think 15 mins arguing with Shaheen, Rebc and Pik Wen... And yeah i skip lecture again this sem hahaha. Damn skipping is damn addictive though lol.

Then seeing us like arguing the guy came back and asked if we had some problems to be solved. Then we asked the same question again. And then guess what that dick head said? Well, i'm not pretty sure you better ask that other guy who is on MC something like that. I was like WTH mannnn !!! You just tell me CANNNN and now you come back and tell me your not 100% sure :@

And that other jackass, when people really need you that you decide not to come to work?? Fuck man i already have my stress with all those fucking units that are to be learned and damaging the neurones plus you add that additional stress on me dumbass!!!!!

I'm damn emo larrr and i don't even feel like studying anymore..Fuck mannnn!!!! Your breaking down all my hopes and the goals i wanted to attain fucking retarded Monash!!!!!

Dumb fuck i'm gonna mail your Caufield campus and you better reply to my mail asshole and give me all the info i need !!!! You get it or not? See You already making go crazy fucking bastard of Monash !!!!!!!!!! That's a special post dedicated to you asshole :@

And yeah fucking retarded, if you make me President of MUSA or MUISS or whatever, make sure i'm gonna collect a petition and make a campaign to meet my objectives !!!! Which are to demolish your bastard of Student Recruitment Department thing and build up a futsal playgroung here dumbass!!! At least with that the benefits to the majority of students will exceed all the costs we students incur ( like wasting our time, opportunity cost of skipping lecture, Energy cost of walking to that building 2 and sacrificing lunch and yes also Psychic cost, the mental stress you put on us ) See that cost benefit analysis i made for you dumbass!!!!! And that's not thanks to you either because your loyal servants also wanted to fail me for econs fucking dick, fail my assignment 1 by 0.5 !!!!! Sooo i'll say a big thanks to my econs book and Mankiw who ever wrote this book !!!!!!

Fuck you Monash and your recruiting thing department!!!!! A BIG FUCK YOU !!!!! You just ruined my day!!!!!!

You better give me what i want when i mail your Caufield campus or else i'll keep cursing you REALLY !!!!!!

Thinking about it...Next sem if i don't get to exchange or whether i don't get to transfer for my final year and hence, for the remaining of my imprisonment in Monash, will be soo damn sad larrrrrr......All those who are important to me here are going already :( fuck mannnnnnnnnn and i'll have to go again through the same steps of making new friends :(

My life is sooooo miserable larrrrr SERIOUSLY !!!!!

Fuck you Monday 26 July 2010 !!!!! :@